When I look back to the blog posts that I have written for CURE®, I realize that it has been since July of 2023 when I last shared my cancer experience. There were many challenging reasons for this. I have had so many changes since that time, I could write a book. I did try to write about my experience during that time, but the words did not come easily. Maybe the challenges were just too hard to write down.
I have named this piece “Healing” and rightfully so. It is a dreary morning where I am but that is OK because I am so lucky to be here at the beach. This trip is truly a gift as a little over a week ago, we were not sure we would make this trip at all. We had planned this trip for more than a year to spend two weeks at the beach in September. The beaches are less crowded, our favorite restaurants have no wait time, the shops have summer sales to pick up a few pieces of pottery and clothing, and the pace of life here at the beach is slower. I needed this. My husband needed this too.
Healing goes way beyond the physical means that our bodies have been through. The mind has its own challenges. This is where I am today. I have written in the past about the ups and downs that a person goes through on their cancer journey.
For more than a year, I have had many moments of going down the hole of unthinkable thoughts. My job today is to remain positive and use this vacation time with my husband to heal my head, body and soul.
Some of the challenges from the past 15 months have included new chemotherapies that did not work, immunotherapy that did work, loss of my oncologist, life-giving care from my nurse practitioner, loss of my nurse practitioner, a new oncologist, new hospital system, balance and falling issues, brain metastases, gamma knife surgery, new chemotherapy that put me into the intensive care unit in the hospital, my husband’s illness, and steroids. As you can see, the challenges have been overwhelming, especially since last July. Each one of these items could be its own blog post. But today, it is about healing. I am on the other side of many of these challenges.
Since I just got out of the hospital a week ago, my goals this week will focus on the healing of my body. I was not able to do any exercise while in the hospital, so my legs seemed to atrophy terribly. We are in a second story condo, so I will do some steps today. I did the steps two times yesterday but today it will be four times, at least. I must keep moving. The reaction to the chemo affected my eyes, so I also plan to listen and finish a book while resting on the deck of the condo. I love to read but my eyes will need some care first.
The crazy thing with this cancer diagnosis is that each thing that happens to you affects something else in your body. So, as I finish this blog post, I am reminded that these two weeks will see me get stronger in my body, my soul will be replenished by the great traditions on our favorite beach adventures and my mind will get stronger to prepare for my future therapy as I continue to fight the fight and survive.
Thank you to my husband, family and friends who know the details of these past 15 months and have been there to help me get to the next day, and even sometimes just the next minute. They are all part of the healing that I need to do to keep going.
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