It’s been three years since I wrote a post called, “Perfectly Unclear,” where I shared about my experience trying to figure out life after cancer.
At the time, I was learning how to exist in the real world, after I had managed to stabilize my health after five years in constant survival mode. I’d been diagnosed with osteosarcoma at 30 years old, which spread from my right leg to both lungs and my left hip. It escalated to stage 4 with a less than 10% survival rate.
I was thrilled to have pulled off a miracle; however, the aftermath was challenging to navigate as well. Still, in my thirties, all my friends had moved on to successful careers, had kids, bought nice homes… And I was living on disability, trying to find my way again.
As a type A personality, I thrive off the feeling of productivity and knowing I’m working towards a goal. However, I just couldn’t figure out the right outlet to channel that energy. In that blog post, I capped off my thoughts with the conclusion that the best I could offer myself was to trust the process and be comfortable with the idea that I was unclear… perfectly unclear.
Now in 2024, I can happily report that my path has come together better than I ever could have imagined. Since that original post, I officially overcame the five-year survival rate. My wife and I have also moved across the country from New York to Northern California. And as more people facing cancer have reached out asking for more details on how I turned my health around (feel free to shoot me a note at steve@othercword.com), I started helping others by sharing my experience in a more structured coaching program.
On top of all that, the biggest change has been that my wife and I eventually revisited the conversation of having a child. We’d both gone through so much trauma that we didn’t even know if it would be possible. But we decided to give it a try and pursued IVF. And miraculously, we had a healthy, beautiful baby girl earlier this year.
I’ll admit, as exciting as the idea of being a parent was, I had some real concerns. The uncertainty of cancer still looms in the background (I don’t expect that to ever fade entirely), and I worried about the responsibilities a newborn would require. Less sleep, less time to keep up with my holistic regimens and protocols…
But just like in the post, “Perfectly Unclear,” I leaned on the idea of trusting the universe to support me, guide me and help me figure it all out, one day at a time.
Being a new dad and moving across the country to a brand-new area hasn’t been easy. I’ve had setbacks, I’ve had breakdowns… but just like during treatment, I do my best to make the right adjustment and keep moving forward. And I’m really proud of how I’ve grown.
Speaking of trusting the universe, that’s one of the hardest parts about life after cancer. I’ve endured five recurrences and seven surgeries over the years. For a while, it felt like good news wasn’t possible. But thankfully, these past few years have shown another, more supportive side. Now one of my biggest areas of focus is to keep reminding myself, “It gets to be this good, and it gets to keep getting better and better.”
There will no doubt be ups and downs, but I’m sticking to the formula that’s gotten me here: one good decision at a time, one day at a time. Throughout it all, that’s one thing that’s always been perfectly clear.
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